Right after I had spoken on personal accountability and the QBQ, the CEO of the company got up to say a few words. After a few comments to the hundreds of people before him, he pressed a button that projected this message on a huge screen behind him:

"Personal accountability begins with YOU!"

I know what he was trying to say, but he missed the mark. Personal accountability does NOT begin with you. It begins with me. That's why it's called personal accountability. It is not about you or I holding each other accountable, as a manager does in setting standards, defining consequences, helping set goals and then holding people accountable for their performance. Nor is it a group thing, where people get together, make public professions of commitment, then come back a week or a month later to discuss what did or did not happen.

Personal accountability is about each of us holding ourselves accountable for our own thinking and behaviors and the results they produce.

This is why the second QBQ guideline is: All QBQs contain an "I," not "they," "them," "we" or "you." Questions that contain an "I" turn our focus away from other people and circumstances and put it back on ourselves, where it can do the most good. We can't change other people. We often can't control circumstances and events. The only things we have any real control over are our own thoughts and actions. Asking questions that focus our efforts and energy on what we can do makes us significantly more effective, not to mention happier and less frustrated.

Accountability groups are great tools. Managers and executives do need to define and communicate standards, but the power of personal accountability comes from questions that begin with "What" or "How" and contain an "I."